A Moment in the Life of a Unit
by Dionysus S
Summary: Ever wonder what the units are doing while the game is off or during the chapter intermissons? Well, this story explains it all: A moment in the life of a unit. FE7
1. Default Chapter

There's, like, no plot. Enjoy.

Edited: Jan 9th, 2008

A Moment in the life of a Unit 

The group stared at the campfire in a bored daze. They had something to do, but they were too lazy to fulfil the task that needed to be done--'sides, the lord's were also too lazy to do anything. The activity they had to do was oh so _very_ important, but for the sluggish posse, something such as daunting as this could only be met with ignorance and disdain.

Soon the fire started to die down, and the unit looked at one another.

Serra was the first to speak up, leaning forward and bellowing, "I'm not going out into that dark forest! I'm too womanly!"

"Serra, shut-up." Matthew mumbled under his breath.

Guy stomped his foot on the ground and groaned. "How about we draw straws? The shortest one goes into the forest."

Everyone nodded in agreement to the idea--they thought it was _mad _cool. Eliwood took some straws out of his satchel--where he got them shall forever remain a mystery--and sliced some apart with a knife. He handed them out to the forty some people.

"Let's compare." Guy said and they all scrunched into the middle. Unfortunately, Eliwood had cut two of the straws the same, and they belonged to Karel and Harken.

"You _idiot_!" Hector called his friend, slapping him upside the head. Harken and Karel stared at each other, each with hate in their eyes.

"All right, I know how we will settle this," Farina said, clearing her throat, "By a vote, we will see who will go. And how will we vote, you ask? Well, we'll vote who is the cutest. The ugly one goes and gets the firewood."

Everyone stared at her. "That's the most-"

"It works!" Farina screamed at Karel. "Now everyone, put your heads down!" They did as they were told. "Who here thinks that Karel's hot?" She then began to count.

"Can you say cool? I'm not gay..." Guy whined.

"Yeah, yeah. Now who here thinks Harken's hot or cool?" She counted the people. "To an extraordinary unanimous vote, Harken wins, 40 to 3. Karel, go and fetch the wood."

The swordmaster was stared at throughout the campground as he got up, in silence, and went into the forest.

"Whoa! Who voted for Karel?" Barte asked.

Farinia, Guy and Karla raised their hands.

"I counted my vote." The Falcoknight admitted.

Guy shrugged while Karla said, "He's my brother."

Harken laughed evilly and waved his pinky in the air, like some rich Brit.

Serra smiled and looked around, "Well, I'm so glad it wasn't me. I know you guys couldn't live one minute without me!"

"Yeah right Serra. No one like you!" Erk and Matthew said at the same time. They both looked at each other.

"Huh? You too? You had to escort her?" The sage asked the thief.

"Me? Uh-uh! I work with her!"

Erk's eyes grew insanely large. "What? Ah, you poor, poor man you! You must've suffered so greatly at the hands of this basilisk, Sir Matthew!"

The thief nodded, "You see, she's just so...I mean--I wouldn't call her a basilisk. She's not ugly...but she's so..."

"_Annoying_!" They both yelled, giggling. Erk quickly stopped and composed himself. Matthew went on and on until Guy joined in laughing.

"Haha...what are you talking about?" The swordmaster asked. Erk filled him in and in a few moments, they were all cracking jokes on her.

"Look at that smile!" Guy pointed out.

"And her hair!" Erk said.

"And that pug nose!" Matthew stated.

Serra began to cry. "No! It's not fair! Someone stop them from making fun of me! Lord Hector! Stop Matthew-"

"So anyway Eliwood, how was...uh, how is your father?" Hector asked hurriedly.

Eliwood turned his head slowly to look at his friend and growled, "He's dead..."

Serra moved towards Oswin, "Stop Matthew from-"

"So anyway, Harken, Marcus, Isadora. How do you guys do it? Looking after Lord Eliwood? I mean, Lord Hector's too much to handle."

The two paladins and the hero shrugged, "Well we..."

Serra started to cry even more.

"And she's so loud to!" Erk yelled. Finally, Pent and Lyn pounced on them.

"Erk! I command you to stop this nonsense right now! A sage is true and honorable! He must not make fun of his peers!" Pent pulled his ears and dragged him to a corner. "Read this book!"

"But master! I have already--"

Pent turned around and made an ugly face, "I said read it, fool!" He bellowed in a deep voice. Erk nodded and quickly started reading.

Lyn starting to beat up Matthew. "You better stop this right now!"

"Lord Hector! Help me-" Matthew whined, covering his head from the blows he was receiving.

"So anyway Nino, how are you?" Hector asked.

Eliwood snickered, "Man Hector, you are so-"

"ANYWAY! Jaffar! How have you--"

Karel came back, with firewood. He dumped it on the fire and sat down next to his sister.

Serra laughed as her evil oppressors were being punished. Then she frowned quickly, "Hey! What about Guy? Rath you must yell at him."

Rath looked up at her. "Are you talking to me? No, I didn't think so..."

She next turned to Karel. The man snarled at her and she moved away. Next was Fiora.

"Guy, stop laughing."

The Sacean narrowed his eyes and stuck out his tongue. Last but not least was Eliwood.

"Guy, I'm in a bad mood. Could you please just shut your stupid mouth, you imbecile? If you do, you bring me the pleasure of not having to hear this brainless wench talking to me."

Guy's mouth dropped, well everyone's did. Even Karel's and Rath's.

"Those where big words. Alright!"

Erk snapped at them, "SHADDAP! I'm reading this magnificent book called Elfire given to me by my master!"

Eliwood, being in the bad mood he was in, leaped onto Erk and beat him up severely. Pent chuckled.


	2. Chapter 2

I never really was going to update, but you guys wanted me too. So here's the last and final part to:

A moment in the life of a Unit

Erk was crying in the corner, since he'd never been beaten up before. Serra was amused since her enemies were now subdued. Karel and Harken still glared at each other, while Karla was pissed off that no one voted for her brother.

"Eliwood!" She barked.

Everyone gasped. Karla had just said Eliwood's name without Lord!

"Did she...?"

"Yeah! I can't..."

"What a moron!"

Those were the words floating around the campground.

"Yeah? What?" He answered back in his terrible mood.

"Why didn't you vote for my brother?" Karla stood up to challenge him. Eliwood who was about an inch or two taller, also stood up.

"Why would I want to vote for your rinky-dink brother? I voted for Harken 'cause he's my-"

"Lover? You're gay!" She yelled back. It took Eliwood a moment to realize what she had just said.

"You whore! Say that to my face!"

"You're gay!" She said to his face. Eliwood snapped his fingers and Isadora came out of nowhere.

"Deal with her." He commanded. She nodded and pounced on Karla.

Karel, who was watching this, got up.

"No one does that to my sister." Eliwood shrank back, since Karel was a little taller. But, in the nick of time, Hector came to defend his friend.

"Sit down, monkey man!"

Eliwood was so embarrassed that he ran over to Lowen, crying his butt off.

Karel didn't flinch, even though Hector was taller. He put out his arm, and moved his hand back and forth, as if to say: _'Bring it on!' _

Hector scoffed and was about to land a punch on Karel's face when Harken and Oswin came.

"I can take him, Lord Hector!" They both said. Harken did a double take and glared at Oswin.

"As if! Beat it old man. This is my job." Oswin turned.

"You should shut your mouth, kiddie. Or I'll shove my lance up your-"

Pent jumped between them.

"Hey, let's not fight!" Harken and Oswin pushed him to the floor. Erk saw this and ran over to them.

"How dare you!" He started chanting a spell and out of his hand came a ball of fire.

"Holy sho-" They both were burned. Karel took this opportunity to sucker punch Hector.

The lord held his face and started cursing.

Isadora and Karla were almost out of breath, so Karel kicked Isadora to the ground. The battle was over, the siblings had won.

"You Saceans! You're all so untrustworthy!" Eliwood and Hector both said.

Rath, Karel, Karla, Guy and Lyn turned their heads to face them.

"What did you say, you stupid Lycian?" They all asked in a monotone.

"You heard us!" Hector said.

"Oh, is that what you think about us Saceans? Well!" Lyn said.

"But Lyndis, we..."

"Don't 'but Lyndis' me, Eliwood!"

Rath and Guy nodded seriously.

"Ah, get over it!" Matthew said. Guy faced Matthew.

"You wanna go, man?" Matthew looked around and rolled his eyes.

"Guy, I can take you any time, any where." Guy took a moment to think.

"What'd you say?" Lyn and Rath slapped their faces.

"It's people like him who give us bad names." Karel sighed. Guy tried to size up Matthew, but since he was much taller, Matthew slapped him. Guy held his face and started to gag.

"Retribution!" He screamed, kicking Matthew between his legs. The thief's eyes grew large and he fell to the ground, gasping.

"How does Guy know such a big word?" Karla asked. None of them could answer.

"Take this, Matthew! And that!" Guy kicked him repeatedly in the back.

Hector rushed over to Matthew's aid and picked Guy up, holding him suspended in the air.

Guy moved his legs back and forth. "Lemme go!" Hector tossed him a couple of feet, but Eliwood caught him.

"Hector!" He yelled, still holding Guy. Marcus took Guy out of his hands and flung him over to the Sacean group. Rath then caught him.

"I hate being so light..." Guy murmured.

Lyndis snapped her own fingers, Sain, Wallace and Kent appeared.

"Sain, take Harken. Kent, take Marcus. Wallace, take Oswin." All three nodded and rushed for their targets. Pent stood up.

"That's it! Erk! Take Hector. Louise and I'll take on Eliwood." The Lycian Lords stared at each other, and in a second they had run off in the distance. But their targets followed. Barte stepped in front of the Mage General and his wife. But with another snap of Lyn's fingers, Dorcas took on Barte. Dart was stunned and was about to help Barte, but Geitz jumped him.

Guy and Rath looked at each other and nodded. Guy went for Matthew and Rath went for Rebecca, for some reason. But Raven put an end to that.

"No one attacks...ah forget it." He threw a punch, but Rath caught it. Rebecca freaked.

"Wil!" But Wil couldn't choose. Raven and Rath were both his friends.

So he glided away.

Rath dropped kicked Raven and the red head tripped. Raven swung one leg and Rath then slipped. Soon afterwards, Raven pounced on him and pinned the Nomadic Trooper down.

He started to swing wild punches at Rath's face, in fury.

On the side, Matthew was beating the heck out of Guy. Matthew grabbed the swordmaster's long hair, which stopped Guy from running. He then pulled Guy closer and they started slapping each other's faces.

Karel and Karla was seeing enough of their own kind getting the butt's kicked. So Karel went for Raven and Karla, Matthew.

Harken was easily beating the gigolo up. With Harken's superior strength, he nearly broke Sain's arms.

Marcus was trained well to fight with his hands, and so Kent had a little trouble.

Wallace and Oswin were equally strong.

Erk was flaming Hector so much and Louise was smacking Eliwood around.

Farina didn't like seeing Hector lose, so she went over to him, even though she wanted some extra money. She took Florina with her to help him. Fiora went to stop the fight between Pent and Eliwood.

The whole campground was in flames. Only a few smart people weren't fighting.

Lyn, who had cause the whole fight anyway.

Serra, who was looking at the jewels she had stole from Fiora.

Nino and Jaffar, who were speaking about Lloyd.

Lowen and Wil, who wanted to get away from everyone.

Nils, who was still mourning the loss of his sister.

Canas, Heath and Vaida, who were staring at each other.

Lucius and Priscilla were healing Raven.

Legault was helping Matthew against Guy and Karla. Merlinus was hiding.

After the battle was done, everyone was separated and wounded.

The Lycian Lord's and their friends, which included Oswin, Matthew, Legault, Marcus, Harken, Isadora, Fiora, Serra, Nino, Jaffar, Lowen, Farina, and Barte. They were all sitting on the left.

The Saceans' and their friends, Florina, Kent, Sain, Wallace, and Dorcas, were on the right.

The Etrurians, Pent, Louise, Erk, Canas, Hawkeye, were in the corner. Hawkeye had decided not to join the fight, because he would've devastated everyone.

And the people who couldn't choose sides sat in the middle. This group of bums included Wil, Lucius, Raven, Priscilla, Dart, Geitz, Rebecca, Heath, Vaida, Merlinus and Nils.

Separate, but still near.

Eliwood was feeling sort of bad.

"Maybe we should apologize." Hector's mouth dropped.

"What the? Have you no shame? I got my butt whooped by a little Sage kid!"

Matthew scoffed. "Yeah, that's harsh. But Karla was on me! But Legault fended Guy off."

Fiora was unharmed, Louise and Pent decided not to harm her.

Farina on the other hand was wounded by Erk. "This'll come with extra pay!" She screamed.

"Shut-up!" Erk yelled at her. Farina stood up, she was furious.

"You shut your mouth, mama's boy!" Erk laughed at the insult.

"You and your dumb Pegasus can't take me on. Or did you already forget." Pent gave a wide grin over at Eliwood's group.

Rath was hurt severely by Raven and Karel was too. But their wounds didn't compare to Sain, Wallace and Kent's. They couldn't move.

Harken, Oswin and Marcus were a-ok.

Lucius was punched by Karel and Raymond's sister was jumped by Rath.

All in all the units were all hurt.

Besides Lyn.

Soon day began to break. Everyone's stomach growled. So each one sent out their best cooker.

Lowen for Eliwood's group, Merlinus for Raven's side, Louise for Pent and Lyn for her own group. From order of the best cook to the worst here they were:

Lowen, Merlinus, Louise and Lyn.

Karel and Guy were afraid to eat Lyn's food in fear that they may die. Hector was ready for Lowen's food and the same was for Pent and Raven. Lyn didn't know how to cook, she only trapped animals.

Eliwood still thought this was ridiculous.

"Ok! This is retard! Lyndis, we're all sorry for making fun of you guys!"

Lyn's eyes sparked.

"Really?" He nodded. In seconds, the whole group was back together, saying their sorry's.

"Let's eat!" Guy, Matthew and Legault said together, holding on to one another.

"Yeah! Lowen and Merlinus should cook. 'Cause I don't want to eat Lyn's horrible food." Hector said.

Rath and Lyn turned slowly around.

"WHAT?"

"Oh no!"

"HECTOR!" Eliwood cried.

* * *

Ah! The end! I hoped you enjoyed. Thanks for the reviews. Oh, and I really love Karel. He's so much hotter than Harken. I mean, you can see his chest! Sexy/sighs and drools/ 


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